Failure
NOTE: I have never done this before, but because of the popularity of this piece last year, I am doing a rerun of my last New Year’s Second Thoughts.
I admit it; I have failed. Once again in 2009 I failed to lose weight, exercise more, keep my fingernails beautifully lacquered, my cuticles soft. I did not keep my own paperwork up to date, nor did I manage to save any money for retirement. I did not faithfully floss, whiten or use fluoride rinse. The whole house was seldom clean at the same time – in fact, the many cob webs and dust bunnies have essentially won the war and we live comfortably together.
I did not drink 3 eight ounce glasses of water every day, nor have 6-8 servings of fruits and vegetables. I failed to give up potato chips. I have not read every book that I have purchased, nor have I watched less television. I did not get Christmas cards out. I still do not understand quantum mechanics or the string theory or the fuss about Schrodinger’s cat.
I realized all of these failures (and more) on New Year’s Eve. I said the list out loud and waited for the guilt to move in – had the bottle of wine open and was ready to wallow. After a few minutes – and more importantly, before I drank any wine – I noticed that I did not, in fact, feel guilty! HUH? The world did not come to a halt. There were no jeering mobs pointing and laughing outside my window. Hmm. SO I embraced my failures and laughed out loud as the words “SO WHAT?” flashed in my head accompanied by celebratory lights and the sound of noise makers. So what? Many of the things we beat ourselves up about don’t matter all that much.
I DID manage to keep focus on the things that are most important to me, things that affect others, and things that might have had serious immediate consequences if left undone, and I am satisfied with that. For the rest of it, I will quote Scarlett O’Hara “ I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”
Happy New Year, Guilt-Free Failures, and Magnificent Successes to you all.